Writing a memoir can be an intimidating endeavor, often fraught with numerous hesitations. Concerns about how an individual’s personal story will be received contribute to the hesitation. Authors may worry that their narrative won’t resonate with readers or that it may be perceived as self-indulgent. These concerns are understandable, given the vulnerability involved in recounting one’s life events. However, writers write about themselves more often than they think. The “Author” in the title of this blog is anybody who wishes to write a memoir, regardless of whether they are professional writers or just starting to write.
1. Lack of time
As in any endeavor, writing a memoir requires significant time and dedication. Even when you have already collected various records of your life’s journey, indexing and organizing them will take time. Then editing and rewriting demands you to focus. But whatever writing you do, the other routines of your daily life cannot be taken for granted. People around you will still demand your attention. Writing from a tower of isolation isn’t realistic. You will be frustrated if you insist on only writing, ignoring other daily tasks. It is best to input each memoir writing process in your calendar and follow a designated schedule. Let it become a part of your routine. Seize each day by being wholly present right where you should be, at the time you should be there.
2. Fear of Vulnerability
Sharing personal stories can make one feel exposed and vulnerable, which can be daunting. I always hesitate before blogging about a person, incident, or object study from my life. It is difficult to divulge something about oneself, foreseeing judgments on personal experiences and encounters. Courage alone is not enough for full self-disclosure. Self-acceptance is crucial if this transparency will stand the test of integrity. Every memoir is an ‘after thought’ — a life examined and found worth living.
3. Privacy Concerns
Some individuals may prefer to keep certain aspects of their lives private and not open them up to public scrutiny. Depending on the weave or theme of the memoir, every memoirist has the privilege of withholding certain things that will compromise them. But a memoir is also a public document and will be scrutinized as such. If it holds back more than it reveals, then it probably fails the ultimate test of letters. Unlike short stories and fiction a memoir is a record of real life, anchored in memory, and fixed in the language of its time. Both memory and language will be scrutinized for authenticity and relevance.
4. Doubt about Relevance
People might question whether their life experiences are significant or interesting enough to warrant a memoir. Where sharing your life hesitates in this manner, your memoir will never be written. Who will judge your story’s significance? Not no one, not everyone, maybe someone, or perhaps, somebody. Every judge is an imagined ghost or spirit at this point. Both the telling and showing of the details of a life and its peculiarities may not resonate with some, but will be interesting for others. In our global community, each self-disclosure is emboldened by performative devices and platforms. Everyone on Facebook, Twitter, Linked in YouTube, etc. will have more than one follower or subscriber. Ultimately, one may not have significance in the grand narrative, but is valuable in the liminal spaces of tale telling.
5. Fear of Criticism
Most of this fear of being judged or criticized for one’s life choices or experiences, are from the closest relations. Criticism by non-related readers can even be taken as proof of the memoir’s value and relevance. But criticisms from friends and family will put a stop on a full-show and tell at any stage of writing and publishing. Memoirists will risk some and validate some, but those relations will eventually know where they stand in this life story.
6. Difficulty in Organizing Thoughts
Structuring memories into a coherent narrative can be challenging and overwhelming. However, this is a technical problem. Many writing workshops can help work out the loose pages of a life story. From indexing to sub-titling, help in organizing your thoughts is available. There are many master classes and one-on-one workshops in writing a memoir.
7. Emotional Toll
Reflecting on past experiences, especially difficult ones, can be emotionally draining and may deter someone from writing a memoir. The other side is also true, that this reflection can be therapeutic. Writing has been proven to be healing and comforting. The creative act of crafting letters enable objectivity and detachment in reviewing a life. Whenever sensitive matters rise up in remembering, a writer turns the abstract memory into a concrete fact, complete in its own being. Now available to a reader who is the new owner of the experience, its hard truth performs a deliverance.
8. Perfectionism
Some individuals may struggle with the desire for their memoir to be flawless, leading to procrastination or avoidance. Every artist is a perfectionist. But a memoirist can only aim for technical perfection. The assumption is that a memoir will contain the story of a flawed individual, and not a perfect human being. Although a memoir is also a document of maturity or insight, the goal is integrity and authenticity – in the balance of life and letters.
9. Lack of Writing Skills
Not everyone feels confident in their writing abilities, which can be a barrier to starting a memoir. Lacking confidence in writing is one thing, not knowing how to write is another. Many writers just wrote the way they spoke. Eventually they study about writing itself and learn how to polish their language. Slowly, they discover their voice and style. Confidence sets in once authors embrace their limitations and learn how to overcome them. Although this will make them cautious in writing in any way they want, hard lessons about writing should make them write more not less.
10. Unsure of Audience
Without a clear idea of who the memoir is for, some people may struggle to find motivation to begin writing. However, your age and maturity is one clear gauge for who your audience might be. Unless you specifically designate your memoir to a young audience and line it up as a YA literature, the default audience is always those in your generation and demographic classification.
These ten reasons for not writing a memoir can be reversed and taken as reasons for why write a memoir at all. Every reason for the hesitation is either just in the mind or skill related, so all can be overcome. But a most difficult reason to ignore so that one can write a memoir is self-denial. A memoirist needs to embrace the self and learn from both its strengths and weaknesses. Without a warm self-embrace, writing a memoir is impossible.
